Divorce is never easy no matter how short or long the term is. Besides losing a loved one, it is one of the hardest life experiences one will ever face. We’ve heard the statistics that half of all marriages end in divorce and that doesn’t exclude the church. If you’re someone like me who grew up with both parents in the home, divorce was never a topic of discussion. It just didn’t apply to us. My parents have been married for over 40 years, and coming from a child of a minister, the stakes were VERY high. Besides, most of the churches we went to growing up had very conservative views on marriage and divorce. When you get married, you stay married. Divorce? Not even an option, no matter if it was on biblical grounds. Why, you ask? Well, back then, biblical divorce in the churches I grew up in was frowned upon. Without even knowing the situation, divorced victims were immediately outcast. No one really understood the situation or even knew how to handle it when it arose. Which left those individuals, who fought to keep their marriage together (even after the infidelity or the physical abuse), feeling ashamed, neglected, and alone. Hey, even I judged the former Mrs. Williams who came in with the screaming child after going through a divorce. I starred, I shook my head, and I wondered… why did she allow this to happen? But little did I know, life would take me through some very similar paths.
Before I got married, I thought I had it all figured out. I thought if I did everything right, God would bless me with this perfect marriage and live happily ever after (boy did I not understand salvation, right?). It took me going through the hardest times in my marriage, to actually know what it meant to love God with all my heart, soul and strength. Because at that moment, I needed to do just that… love God with all that was left in me. Nothing or no one could rescue me. Although friends and family did their best, the hurt and the pain was too unbearable. At times, I almost wanted to just end it all and throw in the towel. But then, there was God… holding me, loving me, and carrying me through. In the midst, things at times seemed like they got worst before they got better, but I can now say that it was His grace that kept me going. Even through the shame, regret or feeling condemned, I knew that God’s love was unconditional. Although I didn’t always have it together, especially when raising two kids, I was loved and had the support of other believers who took the time to pray and encourage me in His Word. The times were definitely hard and I still face them some days, but I can have hope that my God will carry me through, no matter the circumstance.
I am divorced, but I don’t have to be a victim any longer, because Christ is on the throne and He has set me free. So for all of those men and women out there who fought hard to keep your marriage together after infidelity, physical abuse, or abandonment, know that God can take the place of your spouse and make you whole. You can come to Him freely and He can give you rest for your souls. He will never leave you or forsake you during your darkest hours. You are not condemned if you are in Christ. God still has a plan. Hold on to Him and He will take care of you.
Prayer: Lord, thank You for Your unconditional love for us. Even while we were still in our sins, You died for us. God, help us to see You in our time of distress. Let us not look at the married person in jealousy or envy, but to rejoice and give love, for You love a cheerful giver. I pray that the love that was once lost, can be restored in a relationship with You, Jesus. Keep our hearts protected from the evil one. Forgive us of our sins and helps us to forgive those that have hurt us. We thank You Father. In Jesus’ name, AMEN.
“And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.” Mark 12:30 (NKJV)
“There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.” Rom. 8:1 (NKJV)
“…For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Heb. 13:5b (NKJV)
“But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” Matt. 6:33 (NKJV)
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.” Prov. 3:5 (NKJV)